The Crist Family Journal: September 2010

I did survive, but probably wouldn’t win a “Mother’s of the Year” award. My husband left on September 2 and just returned yesterday, September 16th from China. He accompanied one of my best friends to China to bring home her daughter, Phoebe. What an amazing little girl she is too. You can check out her journey at www.meisnowwe.blogspot.com. I am just so happy to report that Dave, Andrea and Phoebe made it home safe and that now we can dote over a new little one who is now part of my extended family. I love that Andrea asked Dave and I to be Phoebe’s “aunt and uncle.” And Rachel thinks she’s Phoebe’s big sister, but the initial visit, Rachel changed her tune a little. She is no longer the baby of the family and now has to share the attention with Phoebe who really is a baby now. I hope Rachel comes to love Phoebe and does treat her like her “little sister.”

We made our way to the Newark, NJ Airport where we met Andrea. This airport offers a direct flight to Hong Kong, which is much more desirable than doing layovers through Philadelphia. After saying our good-byes, which was much more emotional than I thought they would be, Jake, Rachel and I drove 500 miles to North Carolina to visit my family. If you recall, my sister and her husband are doing foster to adopt and they received a little girl to be part of their family. I wanted to be there for my sister and her husband and to meet my new niece. I’m glad I did go, because it did take away some of the stress of being away from Dave. The trip traveling down to NC went okay, but I didn’t get much of a break from Rachel, because she didn’t take a nap whatsoever! I mean, she may have slept all of 20 minutes the entire way down there. It was a long trip too! All in all, I was on the road for 12 hours! We got down there about 11:10 PM and boy was I exhausted and so glad to be out of the car.

We were only in North Carolina for 3 full days, but they were good days with time spent with my family. I enjoyed meeting the new addition to our family and I can still picture Bella’s smile. Her smile is completely infectious. I wanted to bring Bella home with us, but Rachel and my sister was not having that! She is such a busy little girl. Bella is such a peanut for her age, because she was a preemie and weighed only about 16 lbs. For being born so early and being so small, this girl can move, climb, and walk around furniture already. It’s so strange to see this little tiny baby walking and pulling herself up at the coffee table. She was making me a nervous wreck around the slated coffee table. I felt bad because the first night we arrived, she had a horrible dog-barking cough. She has asthma and needs breathing treatments. She sat and received her treatments with no fuss! She easily laughed and smiled and she had no problem staying with me for the day on Friday while her new parents worked. I will say, it’s tough having a 3 year old and an infant at the same time. LOL! I don’t know how people do it. Jake just loved his new little cousin and of course, like all little ones, she loved Jake back. He is so wonderful with little kids. Rachel struggled at time and her feisty-attitude drove my sister crazy! I warned her before we got down there. Again, my sister is another strong woman and three strong women in one household can be a little dangerous! LOL!

I got to see my brother, Charles, who is in prison. Yeah, I know, you probably didn’t know I had a brother in prison. Well, I do and I miss him like crazy. I won’t get into why he’s there, but I do believe he is a good-hearted person, who regrets his decisions and I truly believe he is remorseful for his sins. I hadn’t seen him in some time, so it was so wonderful to see him. He doesn’t get many visits, and to have that human contact, must feel so wonderful to him. I just wanted to keep hugging him and spending time with him. He got to meet his new niece, Rachel, for the first time too. We had a 3 hour visit with him, because we are from out of state. Unfortunately, 3 hours was a little long for Rachel, because she was losing it the last hour. I didn’t want to cut our visit short, but when I was about to, the visit was over. I’m glad that worked out well. It’s a shame that kids aren’t allowed to bring things in to occupy them or at least the prison should provide things to keep the kids busy. I do dream of the day when my brother is finally released and can be a part of our family again. He so misses growing up with us and seeing his nieces and nephews and even his daughter who is living with my parents. He wants so badly to make-up for all that he’s lost over the years. Please keep him in your prayers. He still has another 7 years or so before he has the opportunity of parole.

We left early morning on Labor Day Monday, because I was sure we’d hit a ton of traffic going home. Going home always seems to take longer than traveling down to NC. We made a stop at 5:00 AM to get gas and lots of coffee! We were on the road by 5:20 AM. I will have to say, with it still being dark outside and the kids quiet, my eyelids were mighty heavy. I didn’t sleep real well and it was catching up to me. I knew it was bad when I made a call to Dave on his cell phone all the way in China. I needed to talk to someone to help me stay awake and I knew that it was 5:00 PM over there. We chatted for only a few minutes because at $2.00 a minute, it adds up very quickly. Finally, at 7:30 AM, I called my sister, Debbie (thank goodness she was awake at that hour), who talked to me for about an hour and then my other sister, Sandy, called me to check in. As long as I was talking to someone, I was good to go. Thank God for hands-free. Dave set my blue-tooth up through my GPS which allowed me to talk through my GPS instead of my cell phone. I was so happy that we were only on the road for 7 ½ hours. We were home just a little after 1:00 PM. With only 2 stops, and eating lunch on the road, we made it home in no time. I’m so glad I decided to get on the road early to avoid potential holiday traffic. We survived! Thank God for our safety and for my sisters who helped me through the long drive.

We also survived the first day of school for Jake, which was the Tuesday after Labor Day. He started 7th grade this year! My boy is growing up so fast. He’s much taller than me now and his size 12 men’s shoes are breaking my wallet too! We shopped at Kohl’s for some school clothes and it’s so hard to believe that this is the 2nd year where I’m shopping in the men’s department for my 12 ½ year old son. I should still be shopping in the boys section…right? I thought shopping for boys was easier too? Yeah right! Jake was so hard to buy for. The shirts were either too dressy, had too much print on them or it was too plain. The jeans, they were too straight, too tight, too dark or too light. I was going crazy with him! What is the deal with skulls on all the clothes these days? I’m not a fan and neither is Jake. Even dress shirts that weren’t busy-like had skulls. Anyway, we only walked out of Kohl’s with 3 pairs of jeans and 3 shirts! I wanted to take advantage of my 30% off coupon and get him everything he needed. I’m praying that stuff fits him from last year. He needs to slow down a little with growing or he needs to lighten up with his fashion! Or maybe he’ll need to get a job!

Survival was what it was all about the last two weeks. We survived the first weekend of sports too. All week we ran to practices and all weekend we ran from one field to another for games. Jake is playing soccer, flag football and he’s an assistant coach for another flag football league where he aged out to play this year. That is 6 different events during the week! What in the world were we thinking? If I were a single parent, and thank God I’m not, he definitely wouldn’t be able to do all this. If we had other children who were closer in age, he wouldn’t be doing all this either. Again, we did it and we survived! Anyway, I enjoy watching Jake play and he had a fantastic weekend with a touchdown on Saturday afternoon at flag football and 2 soccer goals! I love watching these high energy sports! They keep me on my toes.

Rachel started preschool this past Monday and again, we survived! Actually, the start of preschool could not have gone more perfect. Rachel was so ready for this new milestone. I was so worried that she’d cry and cling to me and beg me not to leave her. It was all quite the contrary! She went off and started doing her own thing. She was so happy to see her friend, Sarah, there and all the toys and puzzles peaked her interest. I couldn’t even get a kiss good-bye from her. I had to bribe her for a kiss and hug good-bye! What a stinker she is! Why do parents think the worse and we dread it, but when the complete opposite happens, we are disappointed! I think mom’s like it when our kid want only us and that they cry for us. Makes us feel a needed, right? Yeah, I’m bummed that she doesn’t necessarily care that I’m leaving her, but I do know how good this Christian preschool is for her and that the structure and stimulation is the best thing for my feisty, independent, strong-willed little girl. All these traits will serve her well eventually, but right now, I want to pull my hair out because she is giving me a run for my money!

Oh yes, my daughter has been working me these days. I love her more than my own life just as I do Jake. I would give my kidney to them! But I have to tell you, raising my three year old princess has to be the toughest job God has blessed me with. I’m not sure if it’s because we have very similar personalities or what, but we butt heads so badly. She knows exactly how to push my buttons and to get a rise out of me. I’m trying so hard to not to respond in a way that will let her know that she got to me. Any advice is welcomed, because what I’m doing currently is not working. We discipline and I do think we are consistent, but she just does not listen to me. She has a mouth on her that will stun most people and oh my gosh, poor Jake! He can’t go near her without her screaming at him. She wants what she wants NOW! We use time-out, I’ve taken stuff away from her, I use positive words and encouragement, I scream at her sometimes, etc. Nothing at this point seems to work. So many mothers have said that all this is typical from a three-year old girl. Please tell me it it’s a phase and that it will end soon! What can I do differently? Advice? Solutions? Come on, please help me here! I love her so much…please don’t think I don’t! I really do. She’s funny, loving, my Miss Personality, silly, smart as they come, talented, etc, but OMG, sometimes I want to scream! Wait, I have screamed! LOL! I have sometimes locked myself in my room to take a breather. I have left the house to get a break (of course when another adult is home!). I sometimes go into another room to cry! And Jake, he’s no angel either these days. He’s so darn argumentative and he questions everything I say to him. Jake and Rachel antagonize each other. I wasn’t expecting sibling rivalry with a 10 year age gap, but boy was I wrong. The two of them will go at it! I’m venting and I think I deserve it after 2 weeks of flying solo! LOL! I am no angel and I know that I need to work on my patience level and learn to let things roll. I just want my children to love me. I don’t want to yell anymore. Is this too much to ask? Apparently it is! I hope you all don’t think I’m terrible for venting, but I think I needed to get this all out. I wonder if it’s me?!

So yes, we did survive without Dave around and I did survive being a single mom. I’m glad I have Dave and I’m glad God brought him into my life. I’ve learned so much while Dave was away including how much I take him for granted. I have a whole new appreciation for the husband and father that he is and how much he really does to help me out. I was reminded how much I truly do love him and you don’t know how good you have it until it’s no longer around. I’m glad God brought him safely back to me and I’m blessed to have him for my husband. I even told him last night that I appreciate him so much more than I ever did! I will remember to continue telling him that and to pick my battles. I need to let go of my anal retentiveness and let him fold the clothes the way he wants to fold them (you know that won’t last long, right? LOL!). I love you Dave and I thank you for being the man, husband and father you are.

So, the summer has ended and we are back in the rigorous schedules of school, parent meetings, sports, approaching holidays, etc., I am blessed to have the life that I have. I love this time of year and I hope that we learn to slow down and enjoy life, nature and each other.